


My Heart Hurts So Good

by SimpforOikawa13



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Boyfriends, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluffy Smut, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwaizumi Hajime is a Good Boyfriend, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Sad Oikawa Tooru, Smut, Top Iwaizumi Hajime, iwaoi - Freeform, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25112797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpforOikawa13/pseuds/SimpforOikawa13
Summary: Oikawa was always perfect; perfect hair, perfect grades, perfect smile. But when he's not, Iwaizumi is there to help him.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 287





	My Heart Hurts So Good

The mirror was dirty and grimy, but he could still see his reflection. He could see every drop of sweat and misplaced hair falling over his face. His eyes had dark smudges of fatigue underneath them, which seemed to almost compliment the tears that were leaking out beside them. He was a mess.

He gripped the sides of the sink in frustration, his knuckles turning white. He couldn’t bear to see himself like this. Not when he had spent all of his high school career masquerading as this unstoppable, handsome boy. He had tried so long and so hard to keep up that image of perfection. But what did it matter, when it came crashing down like this?  _ Pathetic _ , a voice said from within. His eyes flicked up to the mirror once more, taking in the horrid state that was his usually-perfect brown hair.  _ To be taken down so easily _ , the voice said again,  _ you’re no king at all... _

“Oikawa?” he heard a voice call. “Are you in here?”

“Y-Yes! I’ll be out in a minute,” he replied, hastily trying to collect himself. He turned on the sink, taking the cold water in his hands and splashing it onto his face. He massaged his eyes, trying to push away the redness from the tears. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror, practicing, preparing to face the world again. He made his way to the door of the locker room, picking up his bag along the way. 

“Finally, I thought we were gonna be here all night,” he heard as he pushed open the door. He turned to see Iwaizumi waiting, standing against a wall.

“Iwa-chan, you waited for me. How sweet!”

“Yeah, whatever,” he replied. Oikawa didn’t miss the blush that bloomed across the boy’s cheeks. “Besides, you said you were coming over right? I figured I’d just drive us both.” Oikawa nodded, remembering how he had agreed to hang out at his friend’s- well, now his boyfriend’s house. He blushed a little, remembering the night three months ago when they had both finally confessed. How liberating it felt, to finally get that off his chest. It almost didn’t seem real.  _ Maybe it isn’t _ ...

Oikawa’s blood ran cold; it was that damned voice again.  _ What if it was right _ , he thought for a second,  _ What if this all some huge joke, what if _ -

“Hey, I was joking about staying here all night,” Iwaizumi called, opening the door to the parking lot. “Come on, it's getting dark.” They walked to Iwaizumi’s car, starting it up and pulling out of the lot. 

“What took you so long?” Iwaizumi asked, glancing over to Oikawa in the passenger seat. He was acting weird; he was always on his phone checking his messages or scrolling on Instagram. If he wasn't doing that, he was at least talking to Iwaizumi; currently, he was doing neither. He was staring out the window with his phone in his pocket, saying nothing. They had been friends for long enough for Iwaizumi to know something was up.

Oikawa turned back to Iwaizumi. “Oh nothing, just changing. I couldn’t figure out what shorts I looked hotter in,” he replied, smiling flirtatiously. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes in response, Oikawa always acted like this, but especially when he was feeling good. Oikawa had a knack for being able to cover up his pain, and Iwaizumi hated it. But, for now, he kept silent, not wanting to upset Oikawa further. Soon, they arrived at Iwaizumi’s house and it didn’t take long for Oikawa to realize that Iwaizumi’s parents weren’t home.

“Iwa-chan, your parents are gone, how scandalous!” Oikawa remarked, gasping theatrically in mock surprise. Iwaizumi turned back to Oikawa disappointedly, frowning at how dirty his boyfriend’s mind was. 

“God, you’re gross... Come on, we’ll watch a movie,” Iwaizumi said, taking Oikawa’s hand and leading him up the stairs. Oikawa laughed at Iwaizumi’s comment. He was only joking when he said that stuff earlier, they’d never really done anything but make out before.  _ Who would want anything like that with you?  _ Oikawa stiffened for a moment, processing what the voice had just said. Iwaizumi noticed his sudden shift and turned back to him.

“You okay?” he asked, slightly concerned.

“Totally, I just need to go to the bathroom really quick...” Oikawa replied, disappearing behind the bathroom door. This time, the mirror was spotless, allowing Oikawa to take in all of his flaws in even more detail than before.  _ Ugly _ , the voice said,  _ Worthless _ .  _ Weak _ , it seemed to scream,  _ Unlovable _ . The last one seemed to steal the breath from Oikawa’s lungs.  _ It was right _ , he thought.  _ Who could ever love this? _ He looked back at his reflection, the tears in his eyes blurring the image, distorting it into something hideous.  _ Who would ever want  _ **_this_ ** _? _

“Oikawa?” Iwaizumi said, his heart clenching at the sound of Oikawa’s sobs. “Open the door.” 

“No, I can’t- you won’t-”

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi commanded, leaving no room for discussion. The door creaked open slowly and Iwaizumi looked down to see Oikawa sitting in a heap on the floor. He felt his throat tighten at the sight.

“Come here,” he said, squatting down to pick Oikawa up off the ground. Despite being the smaller of the two, Iwaizumi carried him easily and into his room. He placed Oikawa down on the mattress, joining him a few moments later. Iwaizumi had barely even settled himself before Oikawa was lunging across the bed, embracing Iwaizumi in a tight hug.

“I- I don’t-” Oikawa tried to speak through his sniffling, but Iwaizumi shushed him. He didn’t need Oikawa to explain or tell him what had happened. They didn’t need words to understand each other, not when they had been so close for so long. After a few minutes, Oikawa seemed to have calmed down enough for them to momentarily detach. As he pulled away from the hug, Iwaizumi saw that Oikawa’s head was hung low, avoiding eye contact.

“Oikawa,” he said calmly, trying to gain the setter’s attention. The boy didn’t move.

“Oikawa, “ he said again, reaching out to touch the other. His hand landed softly upon Oikawa’s shoulder, but he still didn’t move.

“Tooru.” Oikawa finally lifted his head at hearing his first name, his swollen brown eyes meeting Iwaizumi’s green ones. 

‘What’s going on?” Iwaizumi asked. His eyes were full of a sorrowful worry, something Oikawa wasn’t used to seeing. Usually, Iwaizumi was all tough love, full of harsh words and playful punches. Not now. This side of Iwaizumi was reserved only for Oikawa, the one who he cared for most. 

“Why,” he sniffled, “Why do you love me?” the brown-haired boy asked. “I just- sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m worth it...” Iwaizumi was speechless.  _ Why did he love him? _ What kind of stupid question was that?! What wasn’t there to love about Oikawa?

He looked at Oikawa for a second before grabbing both of his shoulders roughly. He was holding him in such a way that it forced Oikawa to look him dead in the eye, their foreheads almost touching. 

“You’re stupid,” he said, much to Oikawa’s surprise. “But you're even dumber than I thought if you think you’re not worth loving.” 

“But I’m gross right now,” Oikawa protested. “And my hair’s messed up and my eyes are all puffy-” 

“I love your stupid, messy hair...” Iwaizumi interrupted. He brought his hands up from where they had been gripping Oikawa's shoulder and rested them on the sides of the boy’s face. He brought Oikawa’s head closer to his and pressed a soft kiss to the boy’s mop of soft, brown hair. “ I love how it gets messed up when we go to the beach or play a long match.”

“I love your eyes...” He brought his face back up, placing light kisses over both of his eyelids. “I love how they shine when I bring you milk bread after practice and how they look when you get too focused on a math problem.”

“I love your hands...” He reached down to where Oikawa’s hands sat motionless in his lap. He lifted them to his lips, kissing his fingertips delicately. “I love how many times these hands have set the ball to me, how many late-night texts they’ve sent...”

Iwaizumi’s eyes wandered back to Oikawa’s face, which was considerably less upset and flushing a very deep shade of red. He met Iwaizumi’s gaze for a second before the black-haired boy leaned in, finally connecting their lips.

“I love your mouth,” he whispered quietly after pulling away. “Even after all of the stupid shit you say.” Oikawa smiled at that.  _ What had he ever done to deserve someone so perfect? _ Little did he know that Iwaizumi was thinking the same thing.

“Iwa-chan...” Oikawa whispered, tracing his fingers over the boy’s lips. They stared at each other, taking in the moment before neither of them could bear it any longer. This time, It was Oikawa who pushed their lips together. It was gentle and needing and perfect. For the first time, they both understood what it meant to be complete like they had finally found their missing piece. It was euphoric and both boys never wanted it to end. Unfortunately, they both needed air at some point and had to break away, panting and gasping for breath. 

It was only a short while before they were both hungry for more. Oikawa leaned forward, pushing Iwaizumi back down on the bed and reconnected their lips. This time, the kiss was neither soft nor gentle, but full of want and desire. They had never kissed like this before, with such hunger or passion. Oikawa leaned back, now straddling Iwaizumi’s hips underneath him and began to take off his jacket. Understanding the mood, Iwaizumi sat up, also taking off his jacket, throwing it across the room with little regard for where it landed. Just as he turned back to Oikawa, his lips were on him again, biting at his lips and igniting a fire deep within Iwaizumi’s core.

His hands slipped under Oikawa’s shirt, tracing over his abs. Above him, Oikawa shivered at the attention. They’d never gone this far before and he’d be lying if he wasn’t slightly nervous. He felt Iwaizumi’s hands continue to push his shirt up, eventually leaning away to take it off of him. Oikawa looked down at Iwaizumi, worrying for a second that he might be disappointed with what he saw.

“You’re beautiful...” Iwaizumi said bluntly; he’d never been one to beat around the bush. The comment made Oikawa breathe in sharply, no one had ever said that before. They had called him handsome or cute, never beautiful; never with such conviction and meaning. Iwaizumi’s eyes scanned the boy’s chest before sitting up and pushing Oikawa back against the pillows on the other side of the bed.

Oikawa tugged at the hem of the other’s shirt, implying that he wanted it gone, Iwaizumi pulled it off in a quick, uninterrupted motion. Once it was gone, it was Oikawa’s turn to stare. He reached out to the man above him, gingerly feeling the smooth tan skin and rock-hard abs beneath.

“Not bad yourself,” Oikawa added, slightly breathless. There was a moment of silence, of understanding between them before they both dove in for another kiss. It was all tongue and clashing teeth, leaving no room for air. They kept leaning closer to each other, seeming to want to meld together in a perpetual embrace. Moving closer, Iwaizumi’s thigh pushed right into Oikawa’s crotch, earning him a surprised moan from the boy. He pulled away to look at Oikawa’s face, which was now a bright red.

“Was that- do you want to...” Iwaizumi asked, implying something they had never tried before. In an instant, Oikawa’s face shifted from embarrassment to pure desire.

“Fuck yes,” he replied. Iwaizumi’s eyes grew wide, clearly not expecting such a forward answer. However, there was no way in hell he was passing up a chance like this. He nodded his head in agreement and ground down again, drawing a yelp out of Oikawa. Soon, he was reaching down to Oikawa pants, pulling them down and off before Oikawa helped him out of his own. He palmed Oikawa’s now-obvious erection, making the boy below him a moaning mess. His hand then made its way into Oikawa’s boxers, and Oikawa wasn’t even trying to hold back the sounds anymore.

He stroked slowly, focusing intently on the boy below him. In fact, he was focused so intensely on Oikawa that he failed to notice the boy’s hand sneaking to Iwaizumi’s own erection. It ripped a moan right out of his throat, shaking his entire frame.

He felt Oikawa press their hips closer together, grinding into each other. They continued this for a while, groaning in unison until Iwaizumi felt a hand press to his chest. He looked down at Oikawa, who was currently a flustered mess.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, always concerned for Oikawa’s wellbeing.

“No, I just... I want more of you,” He blushed at the last words, turning his head away from Iwaizumi so that the other couldn’t see the blush forming on his face. It was a weak attempt though, and it only allowed Iwaizumi access to his neck, which he definitely took advantage of. He latched onto the boy's neck, creating dark marks that would last for days. 

“Do you have any...” Oikawa looked around the room, searching.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi replied, reaching over to his nightstand, pulling out a small bottle. Oikawa stole it from Iwaizumi’s hands, quickly pouring some of its contents into his own fingers.

“You know how to?” Iwaizumi’s question trailed off as he watched Oikawa slowly slip a finger inside himself.

“Yeah,” Oikawa whispered. “How else am I supposed to spend my nights thinking about you~” he added, watching Iwaizumi turn bright red. For a second, Iwaizumi wanted to turn away, but he found that he was far too absorbed in watching the other's fingers slip in and out. Oikawa noticed Iwaizumi’s fixation.

“Would you... want to try?” he asked. Iwaizumi simply nodded in response, far too gone for words. Oikawa poured more lube onto Iwaizumi’s fingers before guiding them to his entrance.

“Just go slow,” Oikawa whispered into Iwaizumi’s ear as he wrapped his arms around his back. Iwaizumi prodded lightly at Oikawa until one finger eased inside. He slowly started moving back and forth until he felt like he could add another. He was two fingers deep and a little unsure of what to do when he heard a whine slip out of Oikawa’s mouth.

“Deeper,” he said, and that was reason enough for Iwaizumi. He pushed farther and shifted his fingers experimentally. Suddenly, a strangled gasp made its way out of Oikawa’s throat.

“Fuck, right there,” he whispered breathlessly. Iwaizumi pushed again in the same spot and Oikawa whined loudly. He added another finger, continuing to stretch him as he kept drawing more moans out of Oikawa. Every silvery moan that Oikawa made only served to make Iwaizumi even harder. Oikawa placed a shaky hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“I’m ready,” he said, staring raptly at Iwaizumi’s face.

“Are you sure?” Iwaizumi asked, careful as always. He knew Oikawa too well, he knew that he liked to push himself too far.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” he replied. He pulled Iwaizumi down for another kiss, leaning his head to the side to deepen it. Iwaizumi reached blindly into his nightstand again for a condom, finding one and placing it beside Oikawa on the bed. Breaking apart briefly, Oikawa reached for the packet and ripped it open with his teeth, something that Iwaizumi could only describe as incredibly hot. He rolled the condom down Iwaizumi’s shaft, stroking him firmly in the process. He added more lube and laid back down on the bed, waiting for Iwaizumi to join him. 

Iwaizumi dragged his hands down Oikawa’s body, from his collarbones to his hips and then down to his legs. This was the body of his hardworking captain, his close friend, and now, his lover. He thought of all the wonderful things this body could do. This was the body that could ace the other team all day long. This was the body that broke itself to achieve greatness. This was the body that shook with laughter at stupid alien jokes. This was the body that jumped in excitement after seeing a shooting star. This was the body of the person he could never live without, and he intended to make that known.

He pulled Oikawa’s leg to rest at his hip, just slightly off the mattress. He reached down and lined himself up, but before he could do anything, Oikawa was pulling him down in a tight hug. He kissed the side of Iwaizumi’s face and reached in between them, guiding Iwaizumi into himself. Iwaizumi’s hips thrust forward ever so slightly to aid Oikawa’s efforts and a few moments later, he was fully within the other. Some deep breaths later, Oikawa whispered into Iwaizumi’s ear, 

“Move.” Iwaizumi slowly began to thrust in and out, amazed at the sensation. Eventually, following some cues from Oikawa, he sped up. At some point, to gain a better angle, Iwaizumi raised Oikawa’s other leg for him to wrap around his back. Immediately, this tore a moan out of Oikawa, sounding absolutely wrecked. Not wanting those sounds to stop, Iwaizumi pressed forward, again and again, each time drawing a higher moan out of the brown-haired boy. He looked up at Oikawa’s face, his rhythm faltering in the process. He looked breathtaking, the way his eyes were shut, his head thrown back in pure bliss. Iwaizumi’s hand made its way up to Oikawa’s face, cradling a cheek and turning the boy’s head to meet his gaze. They were so close that Iwaizumi could feel the shape of every moan that came rolling off of Oikawa’s lips. He soon felt Oikawa’s own hand come up to his cheek, caressing it softly.

“Fuck me, Hajime,” he said quietly, smirking a bit, knowing what the effect that saying Iwaizumi’s first name would have. Iwaizumi didn’t hesitate to speed up, practically plowing into Tooru’s body. Soon, it became apparent that neither of them was going to last much longer. As Iwaizumi pushed farther, Oikawa’s moans raised an octave until he was nearly screaming. Every sound seemed to go straight to Iwaizumi’s cock. Oikawa finished first with a strangled cry bubbling out of his throat, his entire body tensing with the effort. Iwaizumi followed soon after, releasing with a groan before pulling out and collapsing onto Oikawa’s chest.

They stayed like that for a while, panting and trying to catch their breath. Eventually, Iwaizumi rolled off of Oikawa, laying right beside him.

“I love everything about you.” Iwaizumi said, continuing his speech from earlier. “I love you so much it hurts sometimes, Tooru...”

“Iwa-chan...” Oikawa said in a questioning tone, somewhat taken aback by the profound comment.

“I’ve loved you for far too long to quit on you now,” Iwaizumi finished, looking Tooru dead in the eye. He laid his head down on the setter’s chest, basking in the warmth radiating around them. Oikawa just smiled, seeing a pretty shade of red begin to settle on Iwaizumi’s cheeks. And at that moment, he couldn’t have asked for anything more.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is inspired by the song ILYSB by Lany.


End file.
